Big FAT Gypsy wedding OR IS IT?

I was watching Big FAT Gypsy wedding, a series from the UK.

As I watched the the show, the stories about the families and traditions were shared. All you had to do was change their skin colours -actually no need as they love excessive spray tans BUt you did need to 'desify' their names and I swear there was something so familiar about their  practises.

1. They marry young
2. Their marriages are somewhat arranged
3. Women are primarily raised to be 'homemakers'
4. They have their own dress style
5. They always have massive weddings and parties
6. Image is one of the most important traits of the women
7. Every party has to be BIGGER and better than the last
8. What the community thinks is important
9. Reputation is everything!!
10. Very few people marry outside of their culture

Sound familiar?

Oh GAWD! That's the name of this entry because..

Oh GAWD! this topic was sure to come one day, delaying marriage was gonna be no help to me or any others who are normal women. Since marriage, I've learnt very quickly and harshly, that in the desi world, there are very few NORMAL women. You are probably wondering what I mean. Normal, ha! What's this crazy chick crapping on about! Well, let me scare you with a few tales.

As a young woman in university and in the working world, hanging around non-desi women was a breeze. No one openly judged a person. In normal society passing inappropraite comments, is considered, rude.

A woman who works, has a lifestyle and enjoys her life, dare I say it, is something most people in society strive for. Well that what I used to think until I got married and started hanging around a...different type of culture. AND WAIT, it's a forced obligation, you know, when you have to compromise for your husband a little of 'let's hang out with my gang and then yours', you know that 50/50 deal?

So you know keeping an open mind, we Aussie chicks go along to these eating biryani festivals were hoards of people are invited and they cram so many in, that the room heats up and you start to sweat! There a heaps of women that you have so little in common with and then being young and naive in the my early thirties, thinking ok, I'm a professional, I've worked, I can have a conversation?

They take aim and rip you to shreds like a solider on the war field, pressing that trigger and ensuring that that bullet stays lodged in your arm, feel the wrath of their words about your outfit, your weight, your life actually it could be anything but it hurts.

It could be because of your hair, your lack of style, etc.

I've always wondered why people do this. I've undertaken extensive research, interviewing people and listening to similar experiences and I've come up with a few possibilities:

1. Watching too many Indian and Pakistani Drama, they think the entire world walks around at home wearing loads of make up and tossing out verbal assaults
2. They have a database of recorded insults because maybe along time ago, they were victims themselves( i know, this is too kind, it's an excuse but you know it has to be considered)
3. It makes them feel good, lashing out at people gives them a sense of 'higher' status in the animal kingdom

!!!!!!

We Aussies have no retaliation strategy, we don't engage in war. It's not a lesson we've been given.

We are laid back, we enjoy that sun and outdoors not really fussed about...anything really. Oh GAWD!

Shazia Mirza