Forget Paris

Winter Collection from Bareeze 2011

One of the most exciting elements about being a product of two cultures, is the clothes!

Eastern clothings, in this case, hailing from Pakistan or India, consists of colourful exciting evening wear saris, party wear salwaar kameez and beautiful bridal wear.

When traveling abroad, thanks to the bOOming Australian dollar we are in a position to purchase, purchase and return with a large collection.

While the western world describes women who enjoy fashion , as 'fashionistas', the desi woman in this case can be from any background(socio and economic) and be a lover, fan and follower.

When I was travelling abroad, it felt like everyone had an opinion on fashion, they seemed to know what was in and who was wearing it on TV. Fashion did transend to the common person, unlike in the west where you have to be 'in it, to get it'.

If you can't get the designer label, just go and get a similar fabric. Have it made for your body at the local tailors( $5). This seemed to be the mantra. It's one that people embrace.

http://www.needlzbyshalimar.com/

From the bazaars of Islamabad, Murree, Lahore and the busy streets of Karachi, I learnt that understanding colour, fabrics and a keen eye are a must!The western shopper mentality flys out the window when in the East. Anything is possible, designs and colours with the magical customised fit that's elusive in Australia(unless you wanna spend $500 bucks).

Women bond over clothing. Your worst enemy will stop to check out your outfit and throw in a compliment before resuming acts of war. It works!

In the desi wives world Eastern clothes, styles and beauty are embraced. Why visit Paris for couture, when the local tailor in Gulshan of Karachi or in Jinnah Supermarket in Islamabad can make a three piece outfit for you.

what if...................

A long time ago, the 'aunties' in the community used to warn us of becoming too 'Australian' and potentially losing our 'way'. I think what they meant, was that if we engaged in too many Australian activities, like sports, going to the movies or have too many non-pakistani friends, we'd become loose women of questional morals and dissassociated with a) culture b) traditions c) would come home with a typical Australian bloke! Heaven forbid! A Gora!- work with me, this was 1985.

As I've become older and wiser, culture and tradition are defined in people's lives in different ways. Some people like to make a point that their children speak their mother language or that their children will carry on with the traditions that they've maintained here. I now wonder why they fear so much and what exactly these 'cultural' values are. Yes, it's good to know a second language because you can communicate with people when you travel but I've seen little else beside music, food and clothing playing a 'cultural' part in Australian life.

When Australia has so much to offer compared with the problems of their homelands, I wonder why there's so much fear. If they can take a giant leap and leave their families abroad, start from scratch and create a new life with opportunities - why the fear? Why have fear when they've overcome so much personally, emotionally and physically. They should have faith in their efforts, the example they set for their children and acknowledge how much this country has to offer and will continue to do so.

There once was a teenager, who had very strict parents. She would walk to school in her uniform plus wearing a pair of jeans underneath. Her parents were so worried about losing control, that they took her out of school at the age of 16, sent her to the motherland and married her off to her cousin.

A few years later she divorced the man.

She remarried.

Then eventually returned to Australia with her husband and kids.

As the rest of her peers moved into the natural events of life like going to uni, work or even marraige, I wonder if the parents had any regrets. Had they had done the right thing? Having watched her peers no one lost control, they led normal lives. I wonder of this woman has the same thoughts and will this effect her parenting skills with her daughters..........

The non-conformist

The non-conformist is the desi gal I love the most! She's confident, determined and decisive.

I've only come across a view in my lifetime but I feel things are going to change. Most of these gals are generation Y-ers and have been watching the fate of women in their communities for many years. They usually come to a quick and easy conclusions(unlike the generation X-ers who 'ummed' and 'arrghed' over everything), that they will not be bullied or manipulated by anyone for the sake of tradition, culture and most importantly, their families. Happiness in life and being able to make choices in how they want to live, seem to be their 'thing'.

A few weeks ago, I heard about a women in her early twenties, who decided that she would not a)marry a desi b) never wear desi clothing on her wedding day and c) took decisive action!Her family is religious and conservative. She herself is the same. But when it came to choosing her partner, she chose or more like fell in love the halal way with an Australian. For the wedding, she designed a western backless wedding dress and refused to wear anything 'eastern'. The cuisine, the music and future were all things, non-desi.

I really do admire people like this. Unlike the rest of us, who were 'scared' to lose ties with tradition and culture, young women like this, decided what they wanted and stuck with it. I remember a casual aquaintance from university who was the same, she said, 'she was at a Indian function and noticed that when it finished, the men sat and talked in the hall, while she and other women cleaned up'. Vadisha looked around and thought, she didn't want her life to be like this-one big davaat clean up! She said, 'at that moment, I knew desi life was not for me'. She ended up marrying an Australian Army officer. At the time, I thought she was so bold and strong, but I know now, she had courage and knew herself well. Her parents initially resisted her decision but over time accepted her non-desi husband.

There are so many desi Australian born women who early on are 'turned off my desi culture and men'. It's foreign, the expectations are different and beliefs. And yet, we seem to fall back into an 'arranged' scenario because we are scared of either a)future b) perhaps the expectations that we as women have to carry additional burdens. Why make life more complicated? Or is it better to give everyone the finger and follow your heart?