The non-conformist

The non-conformist is the desi gal I love the most! She's confident, determined and decisive.

I've only come across a view in my lifetime but I feel things are going to change. Most of these gals are generation Y-ers and have been watching the fate of women in their communities for many years. They usually come to a quick and easy conclusions(unlike the generation X-ers who 'ummed' and 'arrghed' over everything), that they will not be bullied or manipulated by anyone for the sake of tradition, culture and most importantly, their families. Happiness in life and being able to make choices in how they want to live, seem to be their 'thing'.

A few weeks ago, I heard about a women in her early twenties, who decided that she would not a)marry a desi b) never wear desi clothing on her wedding day and c) took decisive action!Her family is religious and conservative. She herself is the same. But when it came to choosing her partner, she chose or more like fell in love the halal way with an Australian. For the wedding, she designed a western backless wedding dress and refused to wear anything 'eastern'. The cuisine, the music and future were all things, non-desi.

I really do admire people like this. Unlike the rest of us, who were 'scared' to lose ties with tradition and culture, young women like this, decided what they wanted and stuck with it. I remember a casual aquaintance from university who was the same, she said, 'she was at a Indian function and noticed that when it finished, the men sat and talked in the hall, while she and other women cleaned up'. Vadisha looked around and thought, she didn't want her life to be like this-one big davaat clean up! She said, 'at that moment, I knew desi life was not for me'. She ended up marrying an Australian Army officer. At the time, I thought she was so bold and strong, but I know now, she had courage and knew herself well. Her parents initially resisted her decision but over time accepted her non-desi husband.

There are so many desi Australian born women who early on are 'turned off my desi culture and men'. It's foreign, the expectations are different and beliefs. And yet, we seem to fall back into an 'arranged' scenario because we are scared of either a)future b) perhaps the expectations that we as women have to carry additional burdens. Why make life more complicated? Or is it better to give everyone the finger and follow your heart?