Growing up, Suicide was always an off-limits topic. It was regarded as the thing 'other' people did. That implied anyone non-desi. We were taught this from an early age, that being 'desi' meant we were different because of our religion, culture and value system.
Some of us believed this, others not so. The idea that anyone would take this action was so beyond anything imaginable.
This path was taken by people we least expected. Gregarious, beautiful and talented people with what seemed like the world at their feet.
Sara was a childhood friend, with personality, brains and beauty. Perhaps I am biased but I felt she had everything and yet, I knew there was little else I envied. She was bulimic and would spend time self hating. Her parents would beat her. All kinds of physical and emotional abuse. She would race home from school to avoid another beating, if she was late even 5 mins her father would accuse her of 'having a boyfriend' then start at her. Sara tried and really tried to be the good daughter.
At the first chance to escape, she accepted a marriage proposal at 17. She landed in similar place to where she started with another monster.Devastated she overdosed on pills. She woke up in hospital disappointed that they had pumped her stomach. Sara escaped from her husband and parents. Sara tried to rebuild her life with a new place to live, career and wardrobe. But the cycle would repeat- boyfriend, marriage or relationship, trouble, escape, an attempt. Sara moved to the country then overseas and built a successful career but she was not complete.
One evening, Sara's aunt came to my house. She stood outside with a young man that I did not recoginise. He looked as though he had been crying, his eyes were red. Her aunt told me what had happened. One of the hardest things was knowing that she died in her car alone. The second, that I could never speak to her again. At that time, I realised that there were so many things I wanted to say, but I couldn't speak. The only sound I could hear was a deafening silence.
Sara had left.
Her parents wanted to know why.
?
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