I woke up from a really bad dream. That's how I felt  the morning after my wedding. For most of my childhood I fantasized about my wedding day, initially it was being the woman dressed in a white gown walking down the aisle towards her beloved. But when I realized that things were going to be different like from the age of six, the image changed to the scared woman hiding behind a veil waiting and hoping that the man sitting next to her, would be a 'nice' and good husband. I remember in high school, there would be crushes and fantasies that all fell short, whilst other classmates would drool and openly talk about their 'perfect man' and what they would be looking for.  Our conversation, in the desi world, went like this, 'is he dark? does he come from a good family? Which city? is he education?' and I used to wonder, 'does he speak english?'. I wondered because most of the potential husbands were deemed 'imports'. What facinated me, was the fact that my peers would openly accept this option as the norm. Maybe it was the fact it was the 80s and that we were the first generation to grown up in Australia where no rules existed. But at that point, I didn't want to be apart of this, I couldn't understand why we didn't marry the people we really wanted. I remember, there were families, grooming their daughters to marry a 'doctor, lawyer or an engineer', in that order. They would make endless trips across the globe, searching, hoping and then eventually sealing the deal with prized 'doctor'. Having said  that, some people have ended up in happy unions with a great family and life, but if things could have been different, given the choice, would they have settled for the 'arranged' option? I woke up the morning after my reception wondering if having a big 'desi' wedding was worth the hassle, 380 people and a few good photos- too tiring and too many compromises on clothes, desi music- to have music or not, to allow dancing or not, enough food or too little, containing arguments and differences between the grooms and brides side? A clash of cultures? or egos? given the chance again, I would ditch the big wedding and go to vegas for a civil ceremony with an elvis impersonator conducting the ceremony.............. :)